15 signs you’re a stationery hoarder

Do you get excited at the sight of colour pens? Have you ever caught yourself standing outside a stationery store, drooling at all those wonderful little writing materials?

Do you get excited at the sight of colour pens? Have you ever caught yourself standing outside a stationery store, drooling at all those wonderful little writing materials?

And oh, have you ever been scolded, or worse, dragged out of a store by your mum because you just wouldn’t stop filling the cart with stationery items?

Then my friend, you might have a bit of a problem. If you can relate to some (or worst case scenario, all) of the points below, then you might just be a stationery hoarder.

1) You get 20% off at your local stationery store at all times.

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2) You have more than five pens. Of every colour. Including mauve, for some inexplicable reason.

3) About half of the aforementioned pens don’t work — and it’s too much effort to figure which ones do. So what does your astute self decide to do? Keep all of them, of course.

4) You’ve shrieked at multiple people for touching your carefully curated collection of Staedtler.

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5) You love the smell of paper. Old paper, new paper, brown paper, white paper, ink stained paper, hell, even tissue paper and wrapping paper… primarily because everywhere you look, you can find a piece of paper, just lying there, begging to be thrown in the bin.

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6) You’re cheating on your local stationery store by getting 10% off at that other stationery store at all times too.

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7) You have so many notebooks that if you were to supply a classroom full of kids, you’d still have about two or three left.

8) You didn’t have an open tab at your college canteen, but had one at the college stationery store instead.

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9) You have highlighters of every damn bright colour known to mankind — and you walk around highlighting things all day. Hot pink, fluorescent green, bright yellow, and that one colour even you can’t describe. Snazzy…orange?

10) You’ve requested stationery instead of clothes or gadgets for your birthday and festival gifts so often that people don’t even bother asking anymore.

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11) Post-its. Those gorgeous little colourful pieces of paper that you walk around sticking everywhere because your forgetful self, of course, needs reminding at all times. You have them on the fridge to remind you about the grocery, in the bathroom to remind you about the toiletries, and next to your post-it collection reminding you to buy more post-its.

12) You try to get a 5% discount at a third stationery store and are actually crestfallen when the store manager blatantly refuses.

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13) Check your browser history. If half of them are links to online stationery stores, you should be slightly worried.

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14) Check your browser history again. If you actually bought stuff off most of those links, you should be more than slightly worried.

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15) And finally, look around your room. If you have more than two books, pens, pencils, erasers, or any other form of fancy, redundant stationery strewn across the floor, then well, do we really need to spell it out for you?

But hey, if you’re a stationery hoarder, it’s not that bad. There are worse things that you could be addicted to, right?

Unless, of course, you’re sniffing glue…

Rameez Shaikh

Rameez Shaikh is a twenty-three year old writer. With a degree in journalism to his name, he's an aspiring author with an absolutely astounding admiration for alliteration. Leisure propels him to read, dance, pen fiction and gloat about himself in third person. On weekdays, he works as a features writer. On weekends, he's a Manchester United fan.

1 Comment

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    mehrab March 16, 2019

    15 signs you’re a stationery hoarder nice post…

    Reply

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